We're entirely relaxed about the "return" on our house so long at it allows us do what we need to do: clear the mortgage on the old house, pay the stamp duty (35K!) on the new house and pay off some of the mortgage on the new house so we start of with a sensible loan-to-value ratio.

We have our investment money elsewhere.

However, if all your money is going into your house then you need to pretend that it represents wealth in some way or the other, which is only true when, and if, you can afford to downsize or move to a cheaper area.

Like many older people, technically my parents are reallly well off: they've lived in the the house they own for ages and have the mortgage paid - their net worth must be well in excess of half a million euros. In practice, unless they either want to move further from public transport and  good medical care - not smart as you get older, especially if you've had any interesting health events - they can't really move or downsize much. The paper value of their house is worth nothing to them.