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My mother in-law and brother in-law both died of cancer a few years ago within several months of each other.  Brother died of throat cancer at 54. He smoked heavily and was known to say "give me another cancer stick I have to die of something." Suffering the way he did, I'm not sure he was happy with his decisions.  Mother had skin cancer (cause of death) and emphysema.  She never smoked a day in her life, but her spouse, a medical doctor, smoked heavily for years until he realized the "error" of his ways.

I suffer from coronary artery disease, mostly genetic in origin, but likely aided by lifestyle decisions.  Despite knowing that both my father and brother had this disease that ultimately resulted in multiple surgical procedures, I continued my poor lifestyle choices until confronted with the inevitable.

Now, I'm not my idea of a puritan but I do believe one should make decisions that effect their lives and those of others with care and consideration.  Not a matter of morality (to me), just prudence.


I can swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell. _ Blood Sweat & Tears

by Gringo (stargazing camel at aoldotcom) on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 02:51:23 PM EST
I've never understood cigarettes. I kind of understand that it's hard to stop because you're addicted. But you don't really get anything from the things in terms of pleasure, now do you?

At least a joint gets you high and a cigar can taste nice...

by nanne (zwaerdenmaecker@gmail.com) on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 03:11:49 PM EST
[ Parent ]
The boss I mentioned once tried to kick the habit, he said (then) that he was fed up with it. Sadly his idea of kicking the habit was to believe some charlatan who advertised instant de-addiction with the help of "bioresonance".

At the next difficult situation when all his instruments were breaking down, he started it again.

Now he is worse than before, he is a literal chain-smoker. He can't go to the toilet without it, igores smoking/non-smoking zones totally, that is unless I am in his presence to complain loudly.

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.

by DoDo on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 04:52:28 PM EST
[ Parent ]

that is unless I am in his presence to complain loudly.

Why do you complain??   Just leave him alone.

by Jagger on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 08:29:22 PM EST
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Huh!? Is this a snark, or are you this inconsiderate?...

For one, I can't 'leave him alone' -- he's my boss, I work under him, you know... Second, his smoke won't leave me alone, when he puffs full all the jointly used rooms where he would not be allowed to, unlike in his own room -- in particular the toilet, which has poor ventillation, and the alley, from where in seeps into every room (including mine) across non-airtight doors.

*Lunatic*, n.
One whose delusions are out of fashion.

by DoDo on Fri Nov 21st, 2008 at 02:55:06 AM EST
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It´s too bad the addiction goes so deep and he doesn´t make an effort, but do you realize that complaining is a reminder/trigger that makes him want to smoke even more?  It just reinforces the guilt of the behavior and gives a bad feeling that ´calls´ for a nicotine fix.

Depending on how you relate to him, maybe you can give him positive ideas to not light up, like what makes you glad that you don´t smoke.  Those ideas should come from him, but if you are stuck with an addict, don´t remind him how bad he really is because it won´t work.

Our knowledge has surpassed our wisdom. -Charu Saxena.

by metavision on Sat Nov 22nd, 2008 at 06:42:43 PM EST
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bingo!

he's getting the attention he craves, and is asking for by exhaling in your presence...

appeals to better nature work better than banging the guilt drum... neither is guaranteed to gave an effect, as smoking, like any other autolesionismo, is more symptom than disease.

the disease is a black hole where love belongs.

'The history of public debt is full of irony. It rarely follows our ideas of order and justice.' Thomas Piketty

by melo (melometa4(at)gmail.com) on Sat Nov 22nd, 2008 at 07:39:39 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Some smokers, like my father, his brother, and my father-in-law, have been able to just quit once and forever when they decided it was time.  I have known others though that just can't seem to quit even when they desperately wanted to. One lady could quit when she was pregnant but started back each time after the  delivery.  I tried, unsuccessfully, several times to help her quit, but she could never make it for more than a few days.

I can swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell. _ Blood Sweat & Tears
by Gringo (stargazing camel at aoldotcom) on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 11:02:41 PM EST
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DrMarketTrustee died 7 Nov 2008. He is my best friend. I love him better than I love myself. I don't enjoy being a "survivor." Who does? There were moments these past weeks when I envied him.

Barely a day went by that he did not remind me, somehow, CHF would kill him. At the same age as his father almost to the day. He was uncanny or incommensurate, Catholic or Jewish, that way. I mean in his attitude toward living as he willed rather than as others would will him. I wanted him to fight death with every centilla of his being. More important, I wanted him to enjoy it. I wanted to know that every day, every hour, every minute.

Silly.

rg's essay reminds me how many and how few pleasures society --infinite other--  permits a body. Dressing continence in reasons. So many reasons minced and served from cradle to grave to induce perversity from jouissance in just one other ...

This made me laugh a little.

Law does not ignore the bed. Take, for example, the fine common law on which the practice of concubinage, which means to sleep together, is based. What I am going to do is begin with what remains veiled in law, namely, what we do in that bed -- squeeze each other tight (s'étreindre).. I begin with the limit, a limit with which one must indeed begin if one is to be serious, in other words, to establish the series of that which approaches it.

A word here to shed light on the relationship between law (droit) and jouissance. 'Usufruct' --that's a legal notion, isn't it?-- brings together in one word what I already mentioned in my seminar on ethics, namely, the difference between utility (l'utile) and jouissance. What purpose does utility serve? That has never been well defined owing to the prodigious respect speaking beings have, due to language, for means. 'Usufruct' means that you can enjoy (jouir de) your means, but must not waste them. When you have the usufruct of an inheritance, you can enjoy the inheritance (en jouir as long as you don't use up too much of it. That is clearly the essence of law -- to divide up, distribute, or reattribute everything that counts as jouissance.

What is jouissance? Here it amounts to no more than a negative instance (instance). Jouissance is what serves no purpose (ne sert à rien).



Diversity is the key to economic and political evolution.
by Cat on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 06:52:03 PM EST
[ Parent ]
That is immensely sad. But real. Laugh on, because the paradoxical nature of this life may just BE the point.

You can't be me, I'm taken
by Sven Triloqvist on Thu Nov 20th, 2008 at 07:02:29 PM EST
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I have no words, Market Trustee, and your strength is beyond what I can imagine.  )-:

Our knowledge has surpassed our wisdom. -Charu Saxena.
by metavision on Sat Nov 22nd, 2008 at 07:12:08 PM EST
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I would want you to know zen as I practice. An imperfect attitude in and toward being. I know that I do not know, in the full meaning, either my strength or weakness. That is a force called will, an innate resistance or momentum which compels me to act as if with certainty about every thing, to belabor my self in due course (Mitsein, eh?) of the world here, present, and flowing events, which carries me from one moment to the next.

In other words, you kind words, I do what I can, and we will see, until I cannot.

Diversity is the key to economic and political evolution.

by Cat on Wed Dec 3rd, 2008 at 11:27:04 AM EST
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I hear you and still wish you good people to lean on!!! for the long term.  Thinking of you.  

Our knowledge has surpassed our wisdom. -Charu Saxena.
by metavision on Wed Dec 3rd, 2008 at 01:46:14 PM EST
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MarketTrustee,

Belated condolences.  My mother lost my father when he was 45, she was 35 and I was 12.  She was racked with grief for almost a year.  It is such a rare thing to find someone with whom you can have the kind of relationship you had.  You seem to be doing well.  Best wishes.

"It is not necessary to have hope in order to persevere."

by ARGeezer (ARGeezer a in a circle eurotrib daught com) on Sun Nov 23rd, 2008 at 08:57:04 PM EST
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