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i'll just put the positive stuff!

i think the spread of the deceptively gentle art of satire will boom in 2009, due to reality's lapping it.

racing round the tubez, viral scoff mind memes will reduce millions to helpless, rueful hilarity, after which they will rise e-invigorated to put their shoulders too to the mouse scroll-wheel and blog the planet into a new dimension.

people will stop blathering about 'the psychology of consumers' and other such balderdash, and discuss better ways to darn yer socks and pickle yer walnuts. gossip will return to the washing line, as dryers will all be silent, turned into container gardens, or flywheel powered lettuce centrifuges.

people will use seeds as money.

city nights will be starry, owls, foxes and nightingales will cruise berkeley square along with barefoot carolling troubadours.

people will compete to be the most poor-looking, and anyone actually in a position to buy anything will be extremely discreet about it.

after the first human wave hits whitehall and white house, overpowering the security services with hugs and smiles (the cops ran screaming off into the night, or put down their arms and joined their countrymens' dance, refusing to fire rubber bullets into a crowd of mothers and children, or taser/teargas them). the government saw sense and sent everyone home with free biodegradable action movies where the heroes didn't blow people and things away to 'attain plot resolution'.

when everyone has stopped laughing about how easy that was, the skulldiggers will come out sheepishly, profusely apologising for their scurrilous ways, and racing each other to give away their fortunes.

maybe that was 2010, i can get a bit alt-timerz around this kind of timetravel, give or take...

everyone eats organic food and the hospitals are empty, doctors putter in the conservatory herbal gardens to while away the days waiting for the occasional patient, and since everyone will live till 100 minimum if they desire, there is a lot of attention paid to making old folks very comfortable.

oh yes, the economy...

it just sort of fizzled out, the concept became moot sometime around late may, when millions realised that their summer holidays would last for ever.

there's a mad scientist who vies for world domination by threatening to use a space-sourced sine wave to be beamed down on the planet everywhere, till no one gets any sleep.

he tries it out on a small county in siberia, and all go insane except those who had carefully trained their eardrums over decades to withstand unusual amounts of pressure, in other words three old finn rockers in retirement, living on the edge of some tiny village out in desi urzu land, down a rutted lane only passable 3 nights a year.

they were crooning doo-wop in the sauna, and thought the sinewave was just another soundbite from the stars.

they tried to harmonise with it, but gave up after the oscillation got too much for their ululating, and simply banged their crania in time to the beat until merciful sleep reigned in the snowy void.

some unschooled one-headed peasant-magus emerges from the tundra with the key to returning the staggering siberians back to their normal vodka-consciousness they preferred to terrestrial cognition.

she unpacks the algorhythm and zooms it back to the dreaded uber-perp, who collapses media-ficently, burning out a million server-farms and three nutwork tv stations making sure there'd be no sequel.

great google almighty!

'The history of public debt is full of irony. It rarely follows our ideas of order and justice.' Thomas Piketty

by melo (melometa4(at)gmail.com) on Fri Dec 19th, 2008 at 04:03:35 PM EST
[ Parent ]
Well I'm sure on your wavelength tonight - somwhere around 4,000 ångströms ;-)

Well said, sir...

You can't be me, I'm taken

by Sven Triloqvist on Fri Dec 19th, 2008 at 04:07:59 PM EST
[ Parent ]
4,000? why so blue?

(and yes I know its more violet than blue)

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

by ceebs (ceebs (at) eurotrib (dot) com) on Sat Dec 20th, 2008 at 11:57:51 PM EST
[ Parent ]
We are Purple Pros ;-)

You can't be me, I'm taken
by Sven Triloqvist on Sun Dec 21st, 2008 at 05:28:16 AM EST
[ Parent ]

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