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His sentences though. The sentences are correct. The rule of thumb is that a sentence expresses a single, simple thought, and even in his longer sentences, Jerome's not missing this from what I see here. Even in his longest sentences, the subject-predicate-object relationship is always clear. His rhythm is a bit off for me though, and I think that's it. That, and I would expect more linking words than he uses in his longer (lots of those - more than I expected to see there) sentences as well.
Don't get me wrong, I can't fault his writing. It's better than that of most Americans I know. However, if he had named himself Jerome a New York, I think I'd still feel there was a foreign influence there.
Just to test myself, I took a quick glance at Bradbury's memo to Rizzo concerning interrogation techniques permissible under 18 USC §§2340-2340A. (It was handy.) By the opening of the second paragraph: "A paramount recognition emphasized in our 2004 Legal Standards Opinion. . ." and I was saying to myself, yup, that's an American voice. I can hear that officious-sounding voice as I read. It sounds fairly youthful, very clear, and forthright. It's a voice that puts an emotional content behind his text in a way that I recognize. I can't hear Jerome well at all. It's as if he's mumbling. The exception was his "I am a banker. Some of us didn't f*ck up" diary. That one came through very clear throughout. (Jerome's voice is something like..."husky", in case you wondered. Throaty. Not nasal at all.) "It Can't Be Just About Us"--Frank Schnittger, ETian Extraordinaire
It would be interesting if you did this kind of "voice" analysis for more diaries and posters...
I'm curious: what is my voice like, and why? Most economists teach a theoretical framework that has been shown to be fundamentally useless. -- James K. Galbraith
IOW, straight-talkin'? Funny, that's how I would characterise Jérôme's writing. Certainly not mumbling. (Even funnier: I haven't met him in real life yet, but in a BBC clip of him, he does speak as if mumbling, and certainly at a for me surprisingly slow pace.) *Lunatic*, n. One whose delusions are out of fashion.
Let me clarify. One of the things I was looking at was if he marshalled his arguments in a way unfamiliar to me. But that wasn't it. I found his thoughts flow naturally one to the other as I would expect. It's really his sentences. "It Can't Be Just About Us"--Frank Schnittger, ETian Extraordinaire
That's hilarious. "Talking nonsense is the sole privilege mankind possesses over the other organisms." -Dostoevsky
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