Well you are in the same position like millions of (wanting) to be immigrants. I can hear you...because I am an immigrant too. For some (unknown) reason I always wanted to live in foreign country. When I was 18 I tried UK (having some relatives there and being able to speak sort of English language).Then I had to go back to Serbia cause my Mum became terminally ill and died soon. I had to take care of my younger brother so I stayed...then got married...and I abounded my dream.
But the destiny knew it better.
At the time when we decided to leave Serbia in 1993 (loosing any hope that the hell will somehow go away) we obviously would rather want to stay in Europe (closer to home) but...Europe wouldn't take us. We were not refugees (being from Serbia) so we couldn't go that path. We had to go trough point system. Even those from Bosnia had a rough path to EU as I understood (except in Scandinavia).Europe was closed for us Serbs from Serbia. So we had to look where it was "open". For educated Serbs from Serbia at the time there was two ways: Canada and New Zealand. Especially cause they were not that strict about language requirements.
Yes, if they NEED you they are not that strict. And to Canada and New Zealand at the time immigrated many highly educated and well experienced Serbs with their families...engineers, doctors, pilots...As I understand most of them found pretty good jobs in their field and are doing well. Because they were needed they had been given chance to work. There was an immigration officer in New Zealand who we managed to know personally later. He told us that they did not expect much of us but they are interested in our children. All though many of those Serbian families ended up here in Australia for better jobs, later.
But Europe is another story. Do not know much but looks like even those well educated Poles (now in EU) did not have same chance in UK...or am I wrong?
I do not want to be rough, but man it looks like you screwed your life big time. Your 43, leave your dreams in EU and look for the place where you can have decent life for the start (it's not easy though in the middle of this crises).... Everything else will follow...
There was a good saying in the movie "Curios case of Benjamin Button" that goes something like this: "My child I hope you'll do good in your life but even more I hope that if you stray away from good you'll have courage to get back and start it all over again" or something like that...That's what I pray for my children ...
Do not wait for the charity to save you. Or go to extremes like French Legionary.  It's not that we all live where we would like to live...Sometimes it's bad luck that follow us (all though this shouldn't be excuse) but most of the time it's about our choices ...


Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind...Albert Einstein