Right, sass, thanks.  I never meant to imply that men don't also feel societal pressure or discomfort to conform, in fact I think I acknowledged they do.  I just think that for women, it has an intense, personal element that's somehow tied in with our sexuality and how it's viewed in the culture as a whole.  

I don't believe most men really grow up with that, although I do know some of my gay friends have felt versions of it.  But even in that case, 'female' is the reviled 'other' -- women are often attacked for BEING sexual, whereas men are often attacked for "teh gay" -- the root of said attacks usually being that 'gay' is too female/girly and less male/manly.

Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding. -Hobbes