by Barbara
Wed Jun 21st, 2006 at 11:21:00 AM EST
"Do I know the difference between a knight and a pawn? Certainly," he says. "Am I familiar with the Four Move Checkmate? Well, maybe I am. ... But the truth is I'm a decent guy with diverse interests who actually offers authenticity in his relationships."
But to get to that authentic nerd, chic women have to be willing to embrace their own inner geek and accept the guy for who he is, chess trophies and all. The caveat to mating with a geek, as some dating experts see it, is coming to terms with his less-than-studly looks and less-than-suave demeanor. All thoughts of embarrassment have to go out the window."
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/317296p-271224c.html
Anyone would like to share her/his opinions on this subject...? I believe that at this place people'd really know! Fortunately for us, nobody's nick here is anything like "ivygrad" or "thinkspec".
Just to add my own bit to this article: I am living with the epitome of nerdiness. He's got a nick inspired by Japan and Go, to start with. If I look through his glasses I get a headache; I only realized that his eyes were actually normal size once he started wearing contacts. I don't think he owns a single pop-music CD and his dancing resembles a person waiting for a bus, a toilet, or one of the ladies that used to make sourkraut by mashing cabbage strips in a large wooden cask with their feet (I always wanted a salsa dancer, but oh well). What he does own is: about 100 classical and other instrumental CDs, and a bunch of rather dorky folk music from around the world (bagpipes and fiddles, anyone?). Besides a truckload of books on physics and math (at cca $60.00 a pop), he also has an impressive collection of well-worn (read falling-apart) T-shirts that feature such pearls as: "Got PHYSICAL at ICPS 99, Helsinki, Finland," or "Dances with Quarks", or "Standing on the shoulders of giants" (with faces of Newton, Pythagoras and other great-grandnerds), "4x4=16" (that one was truly revelatory), and about two dozen of different university T-shirts. He used to own about the same amount of mugs with the same subject, and he still bitterly complains that I deprived him of the privilege to haul the fifty kilos of mugs over the ocean during our last move. He also has about twenty different board games, and about five versions of Go itself (he took the smallest one to our last meet-up in France, where Jonathan delighted in spreading the four hundred magnetic go-pieces on the dark-blue hotel carpet). His favourite gift from his ex is a metal {fortunately small} egg guarded in a leather pouch that somehow "has the perfect shape" or is "perfectly symmetric" -- I cannot remember exactly, but I'm sure he'll be happy to tell you.
What he does for fun (when he finds himself without an internet connection) also deserves a few lines. While other men drink beer and watch football, and occasionally read the paper (mostly to find out about football), he litters the whole house with what I call "receipts" -- A4 sheets of paper that he uses to cover with every letter of the Greek alphabet and other symbols and digits that make me break into cold sweat just looking at them. And he does it to entertain himself, in his spare time. When I found one, I used to ask him whether he wants me to save it, thinking he is onto some incredible discovery, but later I found out that he's just purging his brain energy in forms of Lambda A and A hat etc., so I just throw them away now. Oh, sorry, dutifully recycle.
When he meets another (normal) male, the conversation is strained. Few men like fencing (the only sport Miguel ever did) and not everyone's into strategy games either. Tangram is also not very popular among western males. His political opinions are too radical for most mainstreamers, who usually have no idea what he's talking about. He doesn't like beer (even the Czech one!), and doesn't give a rat's ass about cars (he's a dangerous driver, too, the kind of person who gets the gas pedal mixed with the brake, so it's just as well we don't have one!). He despises the idea of going to the gym, and DYI, as I am learning again in our new house, has zero appeal for him as well. So, men like my alpha-male brother-in-law have it tough when trying to make conversation. With other nerds, though, he's very social (as some of you have experienced).
So, I am learning to embrace my own inner geek in his presence. Coming to terms with "less-than-suave demeanor" has been a challenge, (see previous discussion on Social anxiety/ineptness.) But there have definitely been benefits. He does my taxes and makes detailed graphs of when we will be able to buy a house. My news are almost always old news to him, so all I have to do to be up-to-date with current events is just ask. He "groks" me well. I wouldn't be so harsh so as to say that he is a "less-than-perfect male specimen", but he looks into the mirror about once a month (usually by accident), so vanity is not an issue here. And as far as loyalty goes, so far I have to agree with the article -- nothing to complain about.
