Thu Jan 24th, 2008 at 02:42:29 AM EST
Some of you may remember when I staged an ET coup, lo these many years ago. Back then, we were young and our hopes were high. Or perhaps it was the other way around. In any case, those were the salad days, the blog all fresh and green. They were giddy days, bloated with joy and expectation.
I was a brother-in-arms so to speak, all hail-fellow well-met and you-go-girl or something appropriately genderless which I can't quite think of at the moment. My point being I was one of you then, and not part of that dark, shadowy entity fearfully referred to as The Gnomes.
I know you were all counting on me to open doors and cast some sunlight into the corners of the smoke-filled back rooms, acting as a conduit and funneling out vital information and the occasional bit of gossip. In fact, I promised as much.
And then... nothing. I was barely writing, becoming a mere shadow of my former blog self. Then barely commenting, until my silence was almost complete and I became a virtual ghost in the machine, existing only in instant message form and practically abandoning the blog altogether.
I feel it's long past time to talk. That an explanation is in order. It is time to reveal the secrets behind my long absence -- the trials and tribulations, the personal suffering and trauma, the tears and bloodshed.
And the most shocking detail of all, -- that I, personally, have now been threatened by our so-called Dear Leader, Jerome a Paris. In my darkest hour, no less...
I am afraid that I am not at liberty to expose the exact nature of this threat, but feel free to imagine the worst. I will tell you his demand -- that I write something! When he knows full-well how blocked I am! Sure, I have plenty of time that I'm squandering and, ok, perhaps it would do me some good, but the cruelty is breathtaking. I'm tempted to call him a tyrant. Where's the humanity and all that?
So here I am, throwing myself on the mercy of the blog. Sure, it's been so long that some of our newer regulars have no idea who I am, but those of you who don't know me should still feel free to have strong opinions anyway -- why stop the behavior with political views? Go ahead and tell me how to run my personal life as well -- that's what the poll is for.
I mean, sure, we're discussing my personal life torn asunder by divorce, my living situation and house in a precarious state, family problems, financial ruin, and joblessness, but please, don't let that stop you. I still have... hmm, ok, I don't have my health either. I'll add it to the poll.
So, people, tell me -- what area exactly of this mess would you like me to describe in detail? My life is an open book. Or would be if I could write something. Perhaps with some encouragement, I might even post something now and again. Even if not, by writing this I've thwarted Jerome. And, in all honesty, isn't that what counts?