by THE Twank
Mon Mar 13th, 2017 at 03:09:44 AM EST
A Biochemist Goes To War Part IV
Enter Biomimetics
Scene 1: The Pot Shop ... Rory and Conrad. There's a huge TV screen with multiple
smaller insert screens. Conrad controls the contents of all the screens. Conrad: "Here's the feed from Tigerhawk, as you call him ... notice the time-stamp. Here comes the Rep.s dive ... ah, look at him splash around ... till ... oh, poor baby ... here comes the muscle to the rescue ... oh shit, he's in trouble too ... Doc, what did you spike the pool with?" "Con nitric acid ... had gallons of the stuff sitting around for ages ... never thought I'd use it." "OK, I'm changing the feed ... the cops show up ... then later, these bozos in their Haz-Mat suits. EPA boys. FBI's here too. Here's an interesting exchange ... listen. Haz-Mat guy: "My pH meter says this pool is acidic as all hell." Bodyguard ... dumb as nails but always trying to impress; "Acid? That's who did it! The pool guy was here yesterday ... he had a jug of ... what did he call it ... moronic acid? The crap was nasty!" Haz-Mat: "I think you mean ... (very snooty) ... muriatic acid. Officer Idiot ... find out who the pool service is ... lock them up. We'll need to dump a slew of base in to neutralize it. Case closed. Wonder why the pool guy hated the Rep. so much? " Rory: "Wait a sec. How did you change the feed from Tigerhawk? What was recording?" "Patience, doc ... you'll see. So, how long you been in the snuffing biz? And how long do you plan to stay in the biz?" "My beef is with the Feds ... all the R boys and girls ... and I do mean ALL of them. They're an infestation and I'm the exterminator. I don't look on them as human ... I don't know what they are, to be honest ... could be invaders from another planet trying to terraform Earth to their own needs. They gotta be stopped ... all this bullshit protesting is a total waste of time. They should reserve protesting for something social ... like universal birth control. There's a war on. Stepping on cockroaches on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night." "OK, stop right there ... keep my friends out of it. Follow me." Conrad leads Rory down to his basement ... reminiscent of Rory's place. "When I was in 10th grade bio class I took a liking to insects. They called me BugMan. Had huge collections on pins ... dragonflies ... beetles ... you name it. Then in college I learned about biomimetics ... human technology mimicking living systems. I've been at it for 15 years ... me and my friends. You asked earlier what was transmitting after I cut away from Tigerhawk ... it was a couple of these guys." In a tray are dozens of flies ... or what appear to be flies. "You have trained flies?" "Nope, mechanical flies based on organic fly systems. My guys have basic abilities ... they fly, land, watch, and listen. All information is transmitted to my base technology for recording and time-stamp. I actually have the ability to bug places ... with artificial bugs. I'm also into spiders ... they don't fly but they crawl up walls ... walk on ceilings ... go everywhere a normal spider could go. My latest creation is an artificial honey bee ... like my flies but they carry a sting and I decide what venom gets pumped. Thought that last one would interest you. Remember the X-Files episode with the honey bees ... Roy Thinnes? "Yeah, those buggers were cool but they were still bees." "Yup, mine are the improved variety. They see, hear, and sting ... silent assassins." "I'm not a physicist but I know enough physics to ask ... how are these guys powered? What's the energy source?" "Tiny Eveready batteries ... no, no just kidding. My energy guy tells me that my creations absorb all form of electromagnetic radiation ... visible light, radio waves ... the entire spectrum. They convert that energy into useful work ... don't ask me how ... it's not my field. I just tell Vick ... that's my energy guy ... what I'm designing and he handles the energy needs. One final thing ... I've already got a few places bugged that you might find interesting."
Scene 2: (EIS) ... Jeff in Lenny's office. Jeff: "This just popped up on the news feed. Remember Rep. Krupt ... the guy who lost his family under mysterious circumstances? He just turned up dead ... in his swimming pool along with his body guard." "What the hell were they doing ... or don't I want to know? All those Rep.s are perverts." "That's not the point. The local cops are charging the pool service for spiking the pool with muriatic acid ... here's some photos of Krupt's corpse just after they hauled him out of his pool." "Oh shit, I don't want to see that just before lunch ... what's the point?" "Krupt's family dies ... nobody knows how ... now Krupt is dead. What? Do I need to spell it out?" "Look, you little shit! The only reason I gave you this job is because your mother was once my secretary sucking my dick so don't get all uppity with your bullshit." Just the image Jeff wanted in his head ... his mother and Lenny. "Fine. Let me work on it. Something might turn up." "Yeah, well don't waste too much taxpayer money on it. Rumor has it there's a new variety of v.d. spreading among the hookers in D.C. and the politicians are raising hell ... the wives are getting infected and they'll be knocking on our door before long. Bone up on boner diseases while you have the time."
Scene 3: Jeff's desk. Jeff still trying to lose the image of his mother kneeling in front of Lenny with his pants down. She's moved on ... now she kneels in front of a Senator. Ambitious sort. "OK, how much muriatic acid would it take to cause the damage in the photo of the dead Rep.? pH ... concentration ... what's the volume of the pool ... what's the concentration of the pool muriatic acid ... welcome back to 2nd semester chem. I wonder if the EPA boys logged the pH of the pool ... that would help." Five hours later ... Jeff talking to himself. "A rough estimate ... assuming I'm starting with the right concentration of hydrogen chloride in the pool service acid ... is 25 gallons. How the fuck did the pool guy get 25 gallons of acid into that pool without anybody noticing? This is bullshit ... they got the wrong guy!" Jeff thinks that he has to tell Lenny ... then he remembers his mom with Lenny ... he also realizes that Lenny won't understand any of his calculations or even care ... but if anything comes out of it, Lenny'll claim the credit. Conclusion: Fuck Lenny, and not in a nice mom way. Jeff knows there's someone in Illinois snuffing people ... probably someone with an agenda.
Scene 4: Lenny comes rushing out to Jeff's desk. Lenny; "Pack your bags. You're going to Illinois. You've got a girlfriend there, don't you? "Yeah, my almost fiance. Is this about the Krupt family deaths? "Fuck those idiots ... nobody cares about them. This is Big ... really big. Guy's dicks are turning black. A whole bunch of them. This could be my ticket out of this shithole ... all the way to the White House. Me ... Special Assistant to the Emperor ... making sure his dick doesn't turn black and fall off. Can't you see it ... me and the Emperor's tiny orange dick ... in the same photo ... "The State of the Dick is Sound." Ground zero is a golf course. Here's a list of stuff to special tag for me. Christmas isn't that far away and golf crap makes great stocking stuffers for politicians. We want a special show of force ... take a dozen phonies with you with cameras ... do the whole CSI routine ... make sure none of them talk to the press ... you're the only one to be quoted ... don't screw this up. Oh, about that crack I made earlier about your mother ... forget it ... I really miss your mom." "Yeah, I bet you do. I'll make sure you get your loot. I gotta pack."
Scene 5: Rory on the phone to Ray, the new Maintenance Supervisor at Amy's company. "Doc, there's something weird happening. I'm getting phone calls from the wives of some of the old golf club guys. They're calling me from hospitals ... all over northern Illinois ... asking me how my dick is." "Ray, what's the point? So you're popular with the wives ... a fringe benefit since they treated you so badly." "Their husband's dicks are turning black ... some need them cut off ... the medical term is dickectomy. Ever hear of such shit?" "No, this is new. Let me look into it ... I'll get back to you ... and glad to hear your new position is working out. Amy says only good things. Gotta go." Need to call Conrad and get some of his boys over to the Club House.
Scene 6: The Pot Shop. Rory and Conrad are watching the show. Big bowl of popcorn being shared. Rory; "How many of your boys did you drop off at the Club?" "Four ... each with enhanced sensors. We should be able to see and hear everything. Pass the corn."
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Next Time: Meet the Enemy
